How Did We Become This?
by ErinnKarsonava
Summary: Rose finds Dimitri. Or rather he finds her. he keeps here, urging her to change, but she wants to kill him-keep the promise. but what if Dimitri cracks Rose? What if she agrees?  I own nothing. First fanfic on this. Please review!


**Whoop! First VA fanfiction-started them last week and nearly finished spirit-bound…I BELIEVE I AM NOW IN LOVE 3**

**Anyway, sadly I do not own Dimka, or Mason or Adrian…Or any other characters. They all belong to Richelle Mead…But just you wait…Just you wait ****J****…So I'm starting off with a section I've taking out from Spirit Bound- It is where (Strigoi :'( ) Dimitri has been keeping Rose at Galina's and is asking her about her decision to turn and I've changed it around little to ft my writing…sorta..- and I'll write my story around it. **

**The italic is a present moment but I will be having a flashback where my story will truly begin and lead up to the little excerpt. Phew! That was long, but, just to make things a little clearer…If you understand what I'm saying :L**

**(If you want to read it it's on, or around, page 367 in Blood Promise)**

'There's so much I didn't know…still don't know…still don't know,' I whisper, actually considering what he is offering. Honestly, some of it was. Most of it was creepy as hell but if you got over the whole undead and evil thing, there were definitely some perks to being Strigoi.

'I told you it was amazing,' he replies-Dimitri. Not the Dimitri that I loved ( well, still do) back before the Strigoi attack at the academy. But this Dimitri…I don't know. It's getting hard for me to really distinguish whether or not this still could be the Dimitri I love, minus the whole Strigoi package.

'I have more questions,' I murmur. I close my eyes and sigh, then open them as though forcing myself to stay awake.

'But…I'm so tired…I still don't feel good. You don't think I have concussion do I?' I ask Dimitri.

'No. And once you're awakened, it won't matter anyway'.

And the idea of that intrigues me-greatly. He continues to entice me, and has been throughout the whole stay, with words like 'immortal' and 'forever together' and 'speed, strength', which definitely sound very good to me.

That's it. He has won.

'I'll do it- turn me, Dimitri, please,' I ask, my eyes are pleading as I lose them in his dark eyes.

A small smile quirks across his lips, as he brushes the hair from my neck and presses his fangs against my skin, and they slice through with ease.

_Flashback (with some more excerpts around page 437 +) _

'Why didn't you tell me?' she cries, 'Why didn't you tell me you loved Dimitri?'. I just stare. I can't remember the last time Lissa had yelled at anyone. Let alone me. Her best friend. And how we were bonded- and how I was shadow-kissed, because of her, which ultimately created the special and rare bond between us.

'I couldn't tell anyone,' I reply feebly.

'I'm your best friend, Rose. We've been through everything together. Do you really think I would have told? I would have kept it secret.'

I look at the ground.

'I know you would have. I just…I don't know. I couldn't talk about it. Not even to you. I can't explain it.

'How…serious was it? Was it just you or-?'

'It was both of us,' I tell Lissa,' We couldn't be together, not with our age…and, well, not when we were supposed to be protecting you,' I finish.

'What do you mean?' Lissa quizzes me.

'Dimitri always said we'd be more worried about protecting each other than you,' I reply simply.

'Surely there must have been a way…It wouldn't have been a problem…'

I shrug. Trust me, I wanted to think that too but there wasn't.

'You should have told me,' Lissa repeats. 'I feel like you don't trust me.'

'Of course I do!'

'Is that why you were sneaking off?' she retorts- I can sense that she is hurt, but she doesn't know how much I must find Dimitri.

'That has nothing to do with trust,' I admit truthfully, 'It's me…well, I didn't want to tell you. I couldn't bear to tell you I was leaving or explain why.'

'I already know,' she surprises me with her answer.

'How?' I ask Lissa.

'I was there, last fall. On the shopping trip. You and Dimitri were talking about Strigoi, about how becoming one makes you something twisted and makes you do horrible things. And I heard…' She has trouble saying it as she trails off, but then she continues after a brief moment, ' I heard you both say you'd rather fie than become a monster like that.'

Silence falls between both of us. The wind picks up and blows hair around, dark and light.

' I have to do this, Liss. I have to do it for him,' I say, breaking the awkward and antagonizing silence between us. I know she can't possibly understand _completely_ about why i have to go and why I have to do this for Dimitri, but it will help to make this easier if she does understand just a little bit better than she does right now.

'No,'she says firmly, 'You don't have to. You didn't promise anything.'

'Not in words, no. But…You don't understand'

'I understand you're trying to cope and this is a good a way as any. You need to find another way to let him go,' she says, the firm tone staying in her voice.

I shake my head,' I have to do this.'

'Even if it means leaving me?'

The way she was looking at me…Oh God.' I'm so sorry, Lissa. I really don't want to live you just…Don't understand,' I repeat, trying to emphasis how she really didn't.

'If I leave you, they'll get you another guardian. Even two,' I say not lingering on the fact that it definitely won't be me, and trying to take her mind off things.

Her eyes hold mine. The anger in me was cooling down. She was being reasonable…I do need to stay with h-

'Stop it!' I yell at her,' Friends do not use compulsion on each other!'

'And friends don't abandon each other!' she argues back, her voice raised again.

'It's not about you okay? This time it's about me. Not you. All my life, Lissa…all my life it's been the same. _They come first._ I've lived my life for you. I've trained to be your shadow but you know what? I want to come first. I need to take care of myself for once. I'm tired looking out for everyone else and having to put aside what _I _want. I did that and now look what happened. He's gone. I will never hold him. I owe it to him to do this. I'm sorry if it hurts you, but it's my choice!' I exclaim, as tears threaten to spill but I refuse.

Tears leak out of her eyes and tumble down her cheeks and a part of me shrivels up at hurting the person I swore to protect.

'You love him more than me,' she whispers quietly, her gaze locking onto mine.

'He needs me right now.'

'I need you. He's gone, Rose.'

I take off the _chotki_ she gave me and hand it back to her, not saying anything.

'What's this for?' she asks, slightly puzzled.

'I can't wear it. It's for a Dragomir guardian. I'll take it when I…' I cant quite finish that, not knowing what to say, '…when I get back,' I decide to answer, knowing it might not be true, even though I hope it will be.

Her hand closes around the beads, 'Please, Rose. Please don't leave me.'

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' I repeat quietly.

I turn on my heel and walk away, leaving her crying. It nearly tears me apart to leave her but I _need_ to find Dimitri. I kept a promise, and I sure as hell wasn't going to break it.

_A Few Weeks later_

I had travelled a long way to Russia, but at least I was here now. I had been asking around if anyone knew of the town I was in search of-but so far I had no such luck. I had killed some Strigoi- which may be good practice for the time when it came to…Kill Dimitri.

I can't think of him, not right now. Especially when someone was following me right now.

I'm getting more and more annoyed as time passes with this person, so I deviate into a dark alley. I swing around and I stare the 'stalker' in the eye. Well, for one, it's a she…and…and she's human, 'What do you want?' I blurt out.

'You are the one that has been leaving Strigoi bodies all over the place. You know, I'm the one that has to take care of them,' she states.

'What…?' I ask, confused.

'Dhampir right? You keep killing off Strigoi and I have to clean them up. I'm the Alchemist assigned around here to take care of them. Even though I wish I wasn't,' she blathers on.

'An alchemist?' I ask- again, confused.

She sighs, exasperated-and went through a whole process. What it was she does, how this sort of thing was passed down and how she knew about us. Us meaning Strigoi, Moroi and Dhampirs. She calls us 'creatures of the night'. I certainly wasn't, which I try to argue but she is too stubborn and to be honest, I don't feel like continuing to argue with her.

'My name is Sydney,' she says.

I watch her intently. She was only human anyway. She didn't exactly pose a threat. I know she still doesn't trust me, but at this point I don't care. If she knew all around here, maybe she'd been in other places in Siberia. Maybe even the place I was looking for- it was worth a shot.

'Rose. My name is Rose.'

**Phew! I know most of this is from the book but I need it to get started.**

**Anyhoo, tell me what you think! This is my first fic on this so it would mean a lot!**

**It's not going to be long but I gave up time to do homework in French to plan this- and oh what I have planned. Mwuhahahahaha :)**

**It's going to be under 10 chapters I think so...yeah...REVIEW!**

**You can say pointers whatever or just review! You know I'll love them ;D**

**And more reviews also means quicker updates (for sure now! xD)**

**Erinn xx**


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